Onkyo Braille Essay Contest 2006 -- International Section (Middle East, Central and Southern Asia) ■ Highly Commended "My Personal Experience to Keep Peace" Mr. Talant Djoldoshbekov (Kyrgyzstan: 45-year-old) |
The eye in my head When I was a very small child, an old teacher said to me: “Being equal to the seeing, you have to be far superior to what they could be!” At that time I did not mind for what he said, because I did not fully understand the meaning. I lived in the outskirts of the town. Outside the vast homes in our district, for a few of kilometers stretched the green spaces with the scattered groves and a small stony river. I used to spend time with other boys in simple games. We picked the wild flowers, feasted on the mulberries. And yet we hunted the grasshoppers. All children except me. I heard their chirring, but didn’t see how it looked. I was so upset; I could not vent it verbally. Besides, the boys were screaming, showing each other their boxes with these strange, rattle-some creatures. So I gathered up my courage and set myself on to the distant field. I lay down in the grass and started to wait patiently. I kept lying motionlessly till I got accustomed to the all inhabitants of the grass, and till I found one credulous grasshopper under my nose. There it was! It was kidnapped in the cardboard dungeon. I darted off toward my friends to show my catch. Of course nobody believed me, but I did not care a bit. This insect brought me more joy than any present I had received. Weren’t I the one upset a while ago? Now, I have my own grasshopper- a tiny symbol of my huge victory. I let it go because it let me feel my power over circumstance. I understood what the blind teacher was trying to push into my mind. Now, being older and looking back through my ways, an immutable truth is formed to me. If the Creator did not give you a seeing eye, then maybe he has given you a trial to find it inside of you. Maybe physical detriment has to reinforce your spirit. You look to yourself and explore those areas of your life you never thought you had and something comes out to the surface. Since I learned to read, I did it all the time. That is why I felt indescribable excitement when I crossed the University’s threshold. It wasn’t a school for blind children; it was one more proving-ground. The hardest thing was getting over the embarrassment of the noise of my set-writer in a silent auditorium. Nothing to do but study. A few months later, before the examinations, I was reviewing half of my course. My poems were published in several of the newspapers and the magazines. I was young and proud. I intended to do great things in this world. It was reason to become a country teacher 300 miles away from the parents. I had a lot of plans; building a home, planting an orchard, raising a new generation of poets. I didn’t realize how hard it would be and I did it partly because I’m still working with a new generation. Then the Soviet empire collapsed and so did the economy. The feast of the chaos, unemployment, empty counters. All the fellow citizens became traders and so did I. I was so surprised at how I managed to keep my family on a teacher’s salary. A couple of years later, I bought my own flat and it was not immaculate, but it was good. I had then lost all of my money, but I never looked back. I got my way. I have a good family, my parents are alive, and my poems are still being printed. But my peak is still above me and I’m trying to catch the sound of my grasshopper. There are no peaks which cannot be overcome. There is a will which leads us to our choice. I believe that day will come when I can be closer to grasp the magnitude of greatness of life and I will see the divine beauty of its peak. And I will sing a song to someone, coming up as a black bird or something else, like my teacher did. I believe! But before that I have to do what I do. It is true that you always get back more love than you would give and it’s not important which name to voice toward the Almighty, when we finally see the light. Go where everybody’s gone till you reach the gate Beyond of that you’ll find your feeling Where every thought comes true, you never wait The Universe is a place of healing The things you want seem unattainable Don’t satisfy with surface shine One step, one more than you’ll be able And you can touch the horizon Don’t waste your time feeling sorry Someone was born, yes, to be your friend You are the hero of your story So, fight your war with yourself. Translator Z. Shaildaev |
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